YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER DEREK TOBACCO! WE WILL GO TO MARINERS HARBOR PROJECTS AND HUNT YOU DOWN YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!
YES, it was THAT serious!
So last week, we left off with Renee [and her hot little ass] using her blue eyes of future telling predicting that someone would be going over the balcony this week. Karen and Drita, who have not seen each other since the reunion and still have feelings harbored after their rooftop fist fight, have kept their distance from one another, and here and now at Renee’s celebratory party, they’ve decided to hash things out. New cast member Big Ang [whom I love] was just trying to broker a peace deal, but she’s not ready for a job at the U.N. just yet!
“Listen, this is killing me. I’m not comfortable around you. I cannot live like this,” Drita tells Karen. Drita really seems to feel bad about things and want to reconcile, but Karen brings up the fact that their beef isn’t about Lee, it’s about Drita denying their friendship. “I never said we weren’t friends!” Drita says, but thanks to clever editing, we see a shot of her on the rooftop bar last season shouting at Karen “It’s important to state the fact that I was not your friend!” just before the fists flew.
Listen Karen, when you knew Drita over 15 years ago, things were different! There was no internet, no Twitter, she probably hang out with you because she was bored. Don’t act so pressed!
“What is it? We’re either friends or we’re not friends,” Karen says. “She’s a f—ing coward-ass b—h who can never tell the truth,” that’s what Karen thinks, and despite everyone’s better judgment, she gets into it with Drita (verbally…for now). Among other things (besides the status of the friendship), Karen is also mad that Drita has allegedly been telling people she put Karen in the hospital after their fight, which Drita says she was told. “Usually when I do attack someone,” she explains, “they end up IN. THE. HOSPITAL.”
I love this picture of Big Ang talking to Ramona!
Ramona clearly has tricks up her Conway sleeves, and she’s ready to display her tacky talents to the world.
Karen’s blood is obviously boiling a little and she provokes Drita when she tells her she has to stop herself from going over to Drita’s house every day to confront her. “I’m standing in front of someone who’s acting like Tony Tough Guy,” Drita says. “Why did you tell someone you want to talk to me, when all you wanna do is fight with me?”
Ramona, her sleeves that awful outfit decide they want to be the instigator and peace maker. Ramona distracts Drita with that awful print, while saying slick comments that do not pertain to the conversation.
Drita lands the first hit and you can hear the impact!
Never fear! Derek Tobacco [of the Staten Island Tobaccos?] is here! To some people it looks like he hit Ramona, but he didn’t! Now everyone is on a mission to destroy and kill poor Tobacco!
“How can a man hit a woman?” Karen asks, and Renee asks “I’m so confused at this point, how could anyone accuse Derek of hitting a female?” But Karen and Ramona are out for blood. “My celebration of life party turned into death at a funeral,” Renee says.
Renee is dealing with Drita in a van in the parking lot, trying to convince Drita that the fight wasn’t a setup, that Drita was not invited to the party just to be a target, but Drita is hyperventilating and freaking out and just wants to be left alone.
Ramona says she wants him charcoled! It’s amazing the verbs that can be conjugated nowadays!
Junior and the other fellas plan to kick Derek Tobacco’s ash. Renee says “How can a man hit a woman?” Karen asks, and Renee asks When you see a group of guys who come from my lifestyle all in a huddle, they’re thinking ‘Who the f—’ are we gonna get?’
This goes for all ethnic communities. Some more than others.
They’re led by some random ass girl in a black cocktail dress and the mob [literally] goes looking for Rob. I don’t think things haven ever gotten more real on TV. This supercedes Tami beating the pokemon out of Meeka, Chrissy beating Kimbella up into a blondish weave pulp, and Jim Jones roughing up Somaya Reece’s manager Maurice!
The next day all of Staten Island is talking about the spray can fight of the century! Ramona tells her friend
that they never got to sing Happy Birthday or cut the cake! I would be upset too! I love yellow cake with blue frosting!
The next day Karen, Ramona and her Bargain Hunters sweater realize that Derek never hit her! Drita’s punch is that real!
DEREK TOBACCO, I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU ALMOST GOT KILLED. I’m more than sure everyone feels the same! Derek did not even touch Ramona, but that when he realized he didn’t actually do it, Junior apologized to him. So that was nice. “You can’t put two people who hate each other in the same room with alcohol,” Junior tells Renee. He has a point, but am I wrong in thinking the whole night was going okay until Ang tried to make peace in some faraway land?
Drita feels like she was set up. Although she may feel that Renee had nothing to do with it, she states she felt uncomfortable being there by herself. Carla stops by to offer some words of encouragement, and they begin to put the pieces together! Karen and Ramona [or Fatal Attraction and Lucifer as she calls them] probably had this set up for a while now. And to think, things used to be good just a season ago.
Renee and Junior meet up to discuss their future; I feel like they do this every time they meet up! Junior tells Renee that when she was in the hospital, he realized he wouldn’t know what to do without her. Their history is long and complicated and they’ve spent nearly as many years apart as they did together, but Junior tells her “I think we got a shot.”
Don’t hold your breath Renee.
[WRITTEN BY @NICELOOKSEAN]