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All of the ladies [and some of you men] were getting moist when you saw Jim Jones take a bath. But more on that later!

This clearly puts all of those “Jim Jones doesn’t shower” rumors to rest. Although we didn’t see any Dove or Lever 2000 soap bars [I always thought Chrissy was a Oil Of Olay type of girl] laying around, this is good enough! We get to see the proposal from last week- this week with Jim’s perspective; planning for the event weeks in advance, asking women around him for their approval of the ring, arranging the flight to Miami, EVERYTHING. We’re still not convinced that Jim flew ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE TO MIAMI [or even if they went to Miami], it’s not us for to judge. It’s a very touching scene especially when se says ‘That’s like the princess and the frog, I got my own fairytale going on” Who knew a tough man could sound adorable when he’s talking about his woman!

Jim Jones, come and get your life!

“I’m a Jones, I’M A JONES! Well not officially, .. You know what? I am” Chrissy spoke so lovingly! I wept openly when I saw this and I don’t care who saw me.

Everyone laughed, cried, all emotions were displayed! “It all came together and that’s all I ever really wanted. He put his ego aside, he put his persona aside, and he put our love first. And I will forever love him for that.” Nancy even applied a new red kool-aid wash to her hair and it shows. The toast that Mama Jones solidified Chrissy’s place as her daughter.

Clearly, Rich Dollaz didn’t stop being Olivia’s manager, because he went to Miami to set up a recording session with her and top producer Rico Love, to see if they can collaborate on a song [or two.] Rico produced has produced a lot of number one songs, they could surely benefit from his track record! Rico confronts Olivia about some of the emotions she withholds and convinces her to channel them through her music. When he and Rich watch her perform onstage in Miami, I mean, I thought she looked good and sounded good, but Rich and Rico’s more critical eyes saw differently.

I heard Walk Away at an Olivia showcase [the first of many] about a year and a half ago, at her FIRST showcase the was shown on season one! The original version seemed more touching, the unnecessary ad-libs made it sound like a Dr.Miracle commercial [without the almond oil extract]

They thought that she was smiling too much during her sad song, and that she’s not properly getting her emotions out…still. That does make sense. I mean, if our Creole Imperial Majesty of The Buttermilk Highway of Life Beyonce performed  “Love on Top with a mean face on, I probably wouldn’t vibe to the song the way I did. Obviously, Kes$ha doesn’t have to worry about showing emotion either! “When I believe what she’s talking about, then we can work,” Rico says. When Teairra Mari spots Rico, who is her producer, hanging around with Rich, she approaches them to see what the deal is, why her producer is checking out the competition. It’s great that Olivia’s doing her thing, Teairra says, but “At the same time, my ass has to think about MY ASS.”


Fortunate for her, Rico is putting her ASS first and reassures her that Teairra is a priority, not an option and he’s holding off on Olivia for now.

No disrespect, but doesn’t her mother look like a character from the game “Guess Who?”

I don’t know it could be just me.

Or does she look like the woman who killed Selena? A bidi bidi bum bum…

Moving along…

Her mother seems so sweet, and yet Kimbella is no-holds-barred, and she has her defenses on high alert! She tells her mom that she is upset that she essentially had to raise herself and her brothers because her mother was too focused on what her father was doing, and Kimbella tells her she endured a lot of bad relationships because her parents were in a bad marriage. Her mom defends her actions, explaining that when you love a man, you’ll do whatever you can to keep him. Kim understands that, but she still seems affected by her mother’s actions. Regardless, they hug it out.

Speaking of bad relationships, Teairra Mari and Emily go out on a rainy Miami night to discuss Emily’s date with Fab. It seems like it’s been raining every day in Miami. That’s horrible! Olivia’s been worried about Emily ever since she heard Em went back to Fab, and Teairra confronts Emily about what she’s doing. It’s out of love because she doesn’t want Emily to get hurt, but it brings up a lot of emotions. Emily says that leaving Fab was basically a temporary situation, a break, and that she’s ready for the break to be over.

This was so fake on so many levels! You  can hear Teairra’s voice cracking as if she’s almost about to cry, but no tears are coming out! She doesn’t even look sad. Teairra is *NOT* here for your emotions. She is here for her crawfish fritters and complimentary cheese biscuits, and you WILL DEAL.

Does this mean that we’ll see less footage of Emily and Teairra going into stores, looking around and not buying anything? If so, I support this.

Does Emily need to have a talk with Kimbella’s mom as well? It seems like they’re going/been through the same type of situation where they’re in love with a “man” and it’s putting a strain on their family life.

Yandrella and the Two-Tones [Kimeblla and Erica] are due for another sit-down/ reunite session. I mean, how many times in one month can someone throw a glass at you? She wants them to become friends, yes friends. Her and her jazz hands are so optimistic. Yet toxic at the same time. Erica is still talking about the level that she’s on [we’re trying to figure out what level that actually is]

Erica says that she’s been doing videos since she was 16 years old! Does that make you a veteran video girl? Does your 401K increase with each Conway lace thong you wear to a Gudda Gudda video?


And by “be me” she means literally, her breasts will represent her.  The law offices of Areola, Steiner and Landau? As a woman, as a video girl, in court. Wherever. “And Kimbella’s still gonna be Kimbella, and I will check you, just like I did the last time,” Kim says.

The entire situation is fake and half-hearted, at least as far as Erica’s concerned because she can’t even muster a real excuse for why she feels the way she does about Kimbella, although she does allow an “I’m sorry” to pass her lips, saying “If you felt that I was passing judgment on you then I’m sorry, I know what that feels like.” But when it’s all over, she still gets a dig in, saying “Kimbella, I think you and I both know you will never be on my level.” What mythical level is this anyway? If I can be judgey for half a sec, if the dress code for your level is leopard print tank top from DOTS, it can’t be all that great, right?

Over at the club, the perfect storm called Hurricane Chrissy is about to wreak havoc on Miami.

Olivia and Erica are hosting a party, which means worlds are about to collide and fists are about to fly. Yandy comes over to Kim’s hotel but Kim’s not quiiiite ready,

And Yandy shows off her cha cha inspired Miami outfit

Those hands are everywhere!

As coincidence would have it, Kimbella, Yandy and Erica would go to the same club that Chrissy, Olivia, Teairra and Emily are at. The last time that Teairra saw Erica and Kimbella saw them they were throwing glass at each other and Kimbella ran from the cops. Teairra is from Detroit. They’re used to running from the cops, even when they’re running for mayor!

Yandy seems like she wants to enjoy her night without any confrontation. Well, Chrissy threw her some bait, and she ate it all up like the salamander that she is. Chrissy claims that Yandy send a very personal, inappropriate email about Chrissy to Jim. This devolves into more screaming about checks, checks, checks, “Just because I quit don’t mean I’m not gonna make money off him. I still got checks comin’ in, ma, how you feel about that one?”

Yandy and her bedroom body outfit are behaving tack

Chrissy places an angry call to Jim to get down there ASAP or else Chrissy herself “is gonna kill her,” and before Jim can arrive, Chrissy bolts up and kicks Yandy before getting separated from her.

This is only a preview of what Chrissy wanted to do.


Punch? How dare you make us out to be so basic? Do we look like Jacki-O? Kicking is where it’s at these days!

But Chrissy and her radar mole are not leaving, she waited 7 years to get married, so waiting an hour for Yandy to leave is like playing double dutch on a nice cool night. As long as no one turns dead, it won’t be a long task at all.  She plants herself outside the club so she can wait for Yandy – drunk Yandy, I think, from the shots she’s been doing all night – and beat the tourettes out of her!



What were they getting drunk off of? Deer Park water? That’s embarrassing.

After a long night of trash talking and acting invincible, Yandy ends her night leaving through the back exit of the club to escape the wrath of Chrissy The Impaler. Yandy still sticks to “Jim is my family, he’s like a brother to me!” and going so far as to say about Chrissy “Nobody really likes you. Sorry, secret exposed!”  If things weren’t bad then, they’re going to get terrible as soon as Chrissy watches this scene play out at home.

“First of all, I’m too old for the bulls—, but disrespect does not sit well with me,” Chrissy says, probably not realizing that in the next confessional room over, Yandy was just talking about her.

Dead girl walking.


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