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Hey Nicki,

How are you?

I see that you’ve been added to the performance line-up of the 2011 BET Awards. What an accomplishment, Kudos! You’ve worked your ass off this year, you definitely deserve an award or two this year as well.

I do however, have a concern, or two, or five.

Mainly…

 

Remember this?

Well in case you don’t remember, it’s your performance from the 2011 Billboard Music Awards. Now do you remember? I know you’d love to forget it, but I can’t. It was pretty bad. It was filled with; Unknown Chickens, EXTREMELY Awkward dance steps, you walking in circles, a sea of cropped wigs, horizontal stripes, bored chest naked men in chairs, UNGH!

The only thing more awkward was Britney Spears storming the stage half-sleep, in an induced coma.

I say all that to say.

Let’s erase this performance from our Memory.

How do we do that? With a better performance. Can we do that? I promise, it won’t take much to beat that. Here are some tips …

1. Just leave the dancers at home.

2. Utilize some of the artist in town for Cameos, takes the pressure off you gurl.

3. No physical Choreography, in case #1 didn’t bring that point. We just need you to move your head, face, blink your eyes real hard, you know how creative you are from the waist up.

and

4. No Cameos from Artist who have less energy then you. Dumbs it all down.

I think these will help.

Love you Nicki,

Knock em’ Dead on Sunday!

Oh, and hug Beyonce for me.

-Stay Fly!

 

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