5 Minutes.

They say first impressions are everything. I am not impressed. I am actually embarrassed and ashamed at the depiction of our people in such a negative light in the year 2009. Black Entertainment Television, I am not entertained. A show based on two un-wed Mothers who happen to have children by Wealthy Rappers is the best we could come up with? Really? I mean Really? It ended for me the minute they opened their mouths. They both sound as if they walked away from school in the fourth grade. Definitely NOT the strong Black woman my God daughters, niece and cousins needs to see when they turn on the television.

On the surface, their real-life story plays out like an urban fairytale – both women falling in love with two of hip hop’s most successful princes (T.I. and Lil’ Wayne) and living the life of the rich and famous.

I Go IN after the jump…

Urban Fairytale? If you ask me, this show gives the Green light for Young women to aspire to have sex with Rappers, spit out children, and have a Louis Vuitton Bag for every day of the week-based off the earnings of the Father of their Children. Real Positive. Both women lack education, and could not stand on their own two feet without the earnings of the men who’s children they bare. I’ll tell you what an Urban Fairytale is, it’s that of two individuals who seek to be the best possible human beings that they can be through education, self awareness and independence first. Possessing the skills to stand alone, love themselves and Then seeking a mate with the same characteristics to build with. Building a family that is strong and leading by example so that their children know what to do when they leave the nest and walk into adulthood.

They are tired of being defined by others (in the shadow of their high-profile men) and are determined to rely on each other and the strength from within to find their purpose and build a brighter future for themselves and their families. (how?)

I’m not coming down on Tiny and Toya- well yeah I am. It’s unrealistic to promote this lifestyle and the means by which it was obtained without promoting yet another stereotype that we should be seeking to destroy. I am appalled by what I saw last night. Have no clue about the rest of the season but here’s a thought, seek to be educated. That would turn this entire show around. If school is not your thing take some speech courses so you can articulate yourself in a more graceful manner. Education comes in all shapes and forms and is not limited to a University or Campus. Show the millions of young black women, who will unfortunately be tuned in that there is more to life then getting knocked up by a Rapper and that if they must choose being independent is the primary goal.

If that’s not the goal of this show, thanks for projecting yet another stereo type to the masses.

We appreciate it.

-Stay Fly!





25 responses to “THE FLY DISCUSSION: TINY & TOYA…”

  1. miss edwards Avatar

    This is a very good commentary them. I feel the exact same way and i was insulted by what i saw at the BET awards last night. If that’s what im supposed to strive to become…then im glad i went the direction did, in college and articulate and with no babies. Thank you.

  2. nya2003 Avatar

    im ashamed that in the age of Obama, people willing to show this, and others are willing to watch.

    dumb it down….

  3. Swagga Like Mine Avatar
    Swagga Like Mine

    I concur, just WHY???? One Hundred steps back… two Byrds…

  4. katiekate Avatar

    as i sat there i was couldnt believe that Tiny can not speak. well both of them for that matter. i was shocked. at what point does BET think that if we wanted to watch this show that we could get pass the 1st 10 minutes listening to them talk. its beyond being southern or ghetto. i dont know what to call it.

  5. Lisa Avatar

    I actually think your going in on them a little hard especially as far as Tiny goes. Cause last time I check she was a singer/songwriter way before anyone even heard of T.I.I’m talking like over a decade ago. I am only defending Tiny because I can’t vouche for Toya I’ve only known of her as Wayne’s ex-wife so umm…yea we will see if she is doing something different I guess…

  6. Nat Avatar

    As a black woman and a physcian, I can only shake my head. Those three men who made a pact to become physcians and serve their community…thats what impresses me.

    I wonder if people know how hard it is to go speak to a group of kids and have them ask you…”if you a doctor..where is your fly bag?”

    It hurts my heart when I think about what so many of my collegues went through to get where they are and to have these two be what kids are looking up to.


  7. Jennifer Avatar

    @Lisa: When was the last time you heard Tiny sing a song? She was accomplished 10 years ago, and it seems like she put that on the back burner to become a professional babymomma and have TI’s 19 kids. Her life is replete with babies, Berkin bags, and bad Botox.

    Rae going in is rightfully so because ish like this does not belong on television, because I guarantee you somewhere some wayward teen is going to be watching this show and plotting on how she can get impregnated by some rapper, because Bad Entertainment Television is glorifying the unwed babymomma lifestyle.

    BET needs to get it together. This ish is no longer acceptable.

  8. Lisa Avatar

    @Jennifer So not singing and having kids makes someone a professional baby momma now? All I’m saying is we aren’t reading their check books or organizing their bills so to say someone is living off of someone is a heavy statement to make and I, personally, would not like to be the one to say that and be wrong.

  9. Meeka Avatar

    @ Lisa,

    Before you defend anyone why don’t you take a trip over to and read the synopsis of the Show. It clearly states that both women are trying to stand on their own two feet and not solely depend on the finances of the Father of their Children! Its common knowledge that Tiny was the lead singer in Xscape a Million years ago- That group is long gone and Jermaine Dupre is reaping all the benefits of any royalties from that Dinosaur age. She is ready to do some things on her own- AND that’s the Point! The depiction is BACKWARDS which would be fine if it were not playing out in front of an already over sexed-celeb-glorified Teen Culture! Get it? Ungh

  10. Jennifer Avatar

    The purpose of the show, as Meeka already stated, is to follow these girls as they try to come out from under these rappers’ thumbs. I can only hope that they do that and prove me wrong. But based off of what I saw last night, my expectations are low. Like Rae said: first impressions are everything. After doing a little bit of research (if you want to call reading BET’s website that), I see that Tiny is still involved in the music industry working on her own projects, but who knows that? These days, she’s known solely for being TI’s b.m.

  11. OrangeStar616 Avatar

    ya’ll know BET is owned by VIACOM so this type of fu*kery is not surprising, a regression in programming is a not an accident, darling its to meant to regressively program dears, that goes for alot of TV period/multimedia….SMH….unplug and plug into something with more substance and depth……

    I agree with every thing Rae stated here 100%, this message approved by Orange Star

  12. One Ten Avatar

    I’m just so done w/ BET in every way, shape, and form.

  13. Don Avatar

    It’s not these two women’s jobs to represent Black America. Perhaps there should be more anger aimed at those who hold stereotypes as truth, not the people who are used as the basis for them.

  14. beautifuldaidreamer Avatar

    Thank you BET for giving me yet another reason to continue boycotting that ass. BET’s programming is deplorable and embarrassing. If people would just wake up and turn that shit off, we might make some progress. And I’m not even mad at Tiny and Toya. They obviously don’t know any better. BET is to blame. They’re enablers and continue to perpetuate these stupid stereotypes.

  15. blue Avatar

    Well said Rae, a good read 🙂

  16. Dafe' Avatar

    I think it was a bit harsh honestly Miss Sneed. Tiny was a member of a multi-platinum r&b group, and wrote one of the biggest pop songs of our time “No Scrubs” by TLC..while her success may not be the sucess of a Condy Rice or Toni Morrison, she was an accomplished,successful woman prior to her girlfriend status with T.I. I can’t say much for Toya… Read More, but she seems like a good-hearted woman, set on augmenting her life, and the lives of her loved ones. Which is arguably the better part of what we are all called to do as humans. We are all dealt different hands of (social status, appearance, athletic ability, environment,family support, etc) and we must play the hands we are dealt as nobly as we can. I think there could be much worse role models on television than these two women. There are a lot of perhaps more erudite black women (wendy williams,omorosa,etc) on television, who set much poorer examples for our girls, but are given judgement passes because they speak with more precise form or have no “illegitmate” children..etc. I think we should give these women a break and a pat on the back for being seemingly compassionate, upwardly mobile, non-debaucherous,enterprising, capable women and mothers..until proven otherwise…;)

  17. Swagga Like Mine Avatar
    Swagga Like Mine

    Tiny did not write No Scrubs. Her fellow Xscape member Kandi did.

  18. mzsuzuki Avatar

    Very Well Written…..I want to Thank your parents for raising such an intelligent son!

  19. Coffy Avatar

    I say we boycott it. Do not watch it, turn the TV channel… spread the word. until it’s off air

  20. […] was going to go in real hard on these two young women until I read this post over at StuffFlyPeopleLike who said it […]

  21. $in Avatar

    I don’t have to boycott shit, since I’ve never was going to watch them and that channel in the first place. Maybe for another stereotype season of College Hill, but that’s it.

  22. Yung Dunny Avatar
    Yung Dunny

    I watched the first show and as a therapist, allow me to suggest that their $$ would be better spent on 6 weeks of intensive, twice a week therapy. Stay out of the store and sit down with someone who can HELP YOU TWO grow up and move on. Toya is OLD NEWS/No NEWS to Weezy. Don’t sit there talking to your daughter about your past teenage love life as this is inappropriate and damaging. She can not help you with this and she should not hear these things. Tiny – make another hit already and chill with the all of the babies. Find yourself beyond what you are “famous” for. Your father’s condition is weighing on you deeply – it is obvious. For any one reading this who behaves this way or acts like Frankie and Neffy…talking about inappropriate things to your children and thinking that they are your friend -STOP, Talk to a counselor/therapist and let your children be the children that they should be. PLEASE.

  23. Good and Bad Avatar
    Good and Bad

    Here’s what people don’t seem to understand: these women do not wake up in the morning to be role models to anyone besides their children. I agree that they should have seeked formal education before this show or as part of the show, but did yu notice who they are offsprings of. Blame them, I think not! As a young, single mother of two, who is in college, I had to figure this part out on my own..I was never presented with the idea of college, yet I found it in my own time. My articulation does not come from college but, all people are should not expected to act the same way. Tiny made the choice to raise a family first..(the last time I checked the majority of parents are under educated, but take care of their children) I’m pretty sure Tiny and Toya’s children are going to college because the money seems to well spent and not splurged because it’s still around and no one has filed for bankruptcy….don’t feel like finishing!

  24. AD Avatar

    At first I was going to agree with this. But when I finally watched the show, I had to say that I was actually impressed. Although my background is different from theirs in many ways, I could still relate. I like the fact that this show is about them bettering themselves, and not about perpetrating the foolishness that we see in too many black-focused reality shows. I’m a fan, and for now, I believe that I’ll continue to watch.

  25. ME T ME Avatar
    ME T ME

    For those of you who dont know what you are talking about, Tiny met t.i. before he was t.i. She was with him before she had anything and she was the bread winner, tiny also was with lil wayne b4 he was who he as as well. So talk wut u know and worry about you own. I hate when people talk and dnt know the WHOLE.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: