[Recap] LOVE AND HIP HOP; Season 2, Finale “EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING”

And the goonette and her thug lived happily ever after. Ok, some of them did. More on this later!

We’ve come such a long way this season haven’t we? Although these women will never be invited to Rolanda Watt’s house for cake and coffee, we’ve had some pretty major moments on this show.

We’ve seen Chrissy Harlem shake her demons out on Kimbella..

We’ve seen money hungry managers with dry edges…

We’ve seen nobodies trying to become something, while still maintaing that “higher level” that they never had.

Doesn’t Erica remind you of a Blackplanet layout?

Just when we were used to these women, sadly the season finale was yesterday.

Kimbella and her dandruff are having a terrible week. Yandy and her hands come over so she can unload all her problems, and Kimbella fills her in on how she ambushed Erica at her birthday party the night before but since she left before they could have a physical fight, Kimbella’s still stressed and anxious because basically she won’t rest until someone beats the crap out of Erica.

That face is giving Mariah Carey before Honey dropped in ’98! Get into it!

“At this point she just so disrespectful, I just wanna like, choke her to sleep,” Kim says. YOWZA! Another source of Kim’s stress may be because Juelz is currently in jail. She just found out that he was arrested after having an altercation in their parking lot and he’s being held on $46,000 bail, and for reasons that we’ll find out later, she’s probably hormonal right now. This woman needs a cry and a good hug.

“Nancy and I are in a good place right now,” Chrissy says while she chills with her future mother-in-law. She tells Nancy how much it meant to her that she was there at the engagement and seriously, after last season, did anyone see this coming? I mean, last year the “disrespect” was at an all time high. So while the ladies discuss how the engagement has affected their own relationship, Chrissy tells Mama J. that Jimmy just thinks the engagement means “we’re supposed to have more sex.” Mama Jones loves that and high fives Chrissy. Hilarious and also ew at the same time

YASS!!!!! That Tampico wash Mama Jones has is EVERYTHING! That is a serious bang too! She is giving me “JUST ANOTHER GIRL ON THE IRT” WITH THAT BANG!

Mama Jones… come and get your life!

Nancy also assumes that this indicates grandchildren in her future. Please believe that Nancy will not be teaching her  braided grandkids how not to have “the disrespect” towards other people. Soon, Chrissy promises her. “How soon, like tomorrow?” Mama Jones and MediaTakeOut want to know.

Chrissy promises to love Mama Jones the way she loves Jimmy, and she’s overcome by the positive feelings of their relationship and the engagement. For all the bad times that last season brought, this season is only love. They’re working hard to keep it that way, but still.

Over in Rich’s SUV, Olivia drops the bomb on him that she’s not taking the EMI record deal she’s being offered. [She is clearly losing her mind] This would be her third major deal, [J Records, then G-Unit] but it would also mean signing away some of her creative rights over the course of three albums and she’s not down with that, even though it means money in [t]he[i]r pocket. “I’m not going to sign my life away for three albums. They said they want creative control and that’s not gonna work for me,” she says. You know who wants money in his pocket though? Rich. He has spent tons of $$$ on her, and he isn’t seeing results. None of us are. “I’m gonna ride with you, but at the end of the day, this is your life,” he tells her. And although she NEVER had that much money to begin with is ready to go broke to make her dreams happen.

She probably feels like she just “did that”.

Before she can make those dreams come true though, she needs to clear up a beef first. Olivia and radio DJ FunkMaster Flex have an issue because of comments he made implying that her career was over. Implying?

Did he really tell her to launch Pineapple Records? I can’t.

KEEP FLEX OUT OF KOREA CAUSE YOU KNOW HE DROP BOMBS! *Kanye voice*

Olivia thinks the whole thing is very third grade, [I used to listen to her in third grade] but he tells her she’s taking the whole thing too personally. I don’t even think this constitutes as beef. He tells her his words should motivate her. “You should say, no, I’m gonna make this happen, I’m gonna make a hot record, f— Flex, f— Fifty, I’m gonna make it happen!” “Nobody goes on somebody that hard and that long for that stupid-ass reason,” Olivia says.

Liv’s next stop on her career train is to meet with producer Jerry Wonda. Jerry has produced some of the hottest songs ever. Jerry gives Olivia’s words a melody and as she starts to sing along, the track goes from poem on a page to what could be a hit song. “That sounds hot!” she says. It really does. For once this season, Olivia has channeled her emotions the right way and showcased her skills.

What about that song “Shark In The Water?” That would be a good fit for Olivia too!

Emily and Chrissy meet to discuss the possibility of Emily going back to Fab in what is the 18th time between the two seasons. Last week, Emily’s conversation with Winter, Fab’s assistant, struck a nerve because Winter wanted Emily to move back in with Fab and turn a blind eye to his cheating ways. Clearly, Winter has not paid her tuition to the Iyanla Vanzant School Of Self Esteem and Side Eye because a woman should NEVER tell another woman to let a man cheat on you. I guess her name is Winter because no one likes Winter as a season.  Emily needs Chrissy’s advice because hey, who better to analyze the situation and say what she feels than Chrissy?

These two love to have drinks in dark lighting. They always sit on the some side, and they have their usual girl talk.

“This is a very touchy, very ugly, very gray area. Being ‘accepting’ or being ‘blind to’…I’m not accepting or blind, I’m just realistic. I know that things happen but you better not ever let me find out.”

Chrissy bring it on home..

That’s Chrissy’s take on dating a rapper and she tells Emily that the main thing to remember is not to lose her self-respect and that loyalty is key to the relationship.

Meanwhile, Kimbella is still struggling with the dysfunction of her own relationship with Juelz. “Every woman has a gut feeling and every woman has that insight at the back of their mind, and that’s when it’s questionable,” she says, explaining that she took an oath of loyalty to Juelz when they got together, but since this is his first long-term relationship, he might not know how to handle it. “I came with all these guidelines: I’m going to be loyal to you, I’m going to be true to you, but you’ve got to do the same. But when you’re dealing with a man in the industry and all his shenanigans…it becomes a lot,” she says.

Kimbella, your man is an entertainer. Create your own Sunbeam team, and learn not to be in your feelings.

They gave us a long slow motion scene of Kimbella crossing the street. I bet you the sauerkraut from that hot dog truck smelled bad! WE ARE NOT HERE FOR THAT!

She meets with Yandy at some location that was fab two years ago to talk things out, and breaks down explaining that Juelz is pretty much hands off when it comes to running the household or helping with the kids. Kim is wrapped in her feelings and Erica’s insults may or may not have helped a bit. Yandy assures her that she can always count on their friendship to stay intact though. What do you expect, though? They’re so close they get their menstruals at the same time, remember?

Yandy’s friendship with Mama Jones is still solid too, because she’s trying to buy her friendship and they go bikini shopping because Yandy begs to spend time with her and she pays for everything including the Newports Mama J has been invited on Jim and Chrissy’s trip to Jamaica.

“Don’t let Chrissy drown you,” Yandy warns her, and Mama Jones laughs, but assures her that things with Chrissy are actually good now. Mama Jones wants Yandy and Jim though to repair their relationship. Yandy isn’t sure that Jamaica is the time or place to bring up that topic, so instead they just focus on the important things, like finding Mama a decent hat.

Yandy, stop showing so much concern. You look pressed! Are  you mad that you didn’t get to steal a Vampire Life T-Shirt before you parted ways with Jim?

Kim’s parents swing by New Jersey to see their grandkids and, even though it’s not ideal because Juelz is still in jail at the moment and, well, nothing at that home is ideal at the moment, Kim has an interesting development to share: she’s pregnant.

Yasss Sherry Vanderhee! She is giving you salt and pepper hair TO THE GODS! Yassss hunty! She and her Queen Helene styling gel are giving you a nasty swoop, and you can’t take it!

Her mother could sense that the news was coming and isn’t as happy as you would think! She warns Kim that the stress of three kids could be a lot, and not to mention (salt, meet wound), Kim still doesn’t have a ring on her finger. “It was all there for me and it just slipped away,” Kim says in her confessional.

Though she promises her parents that with or without Juelz, she is going to make it work, she looks defeated.