Bustier from Joyce Leslie? Liquid Leggings from Avenue? This must be the level that Erica is on.

Let’s revisit this issue later on.

Hurricane Chrissy has blown over [it was more of a tropical storm], and like Hurricane Irene, those of us on the East Coast were fortunate that she didn’t do as much damage as she probably could have. Yandy after making her backdoor exit out of the club, didn’t get a chance to see any of the other girls after her fight with Chrissy, so she’s meeting up with Olivia and Emily in the city to figure out what went down.

What a lovely view across the street from the projects! I can smell the rent parties and Virginia Slims from here!

As we all know, Emily’s loyalty lies fully with Chrissy. She’s a true friend! She notices the negative traits that lie with in Chrissy. As Chrissy, she doesn’t like that Yandy’s all about the checks, and manipulating people to all of the money that she can. She also takes offense to Yandy’s comment that she bought a table at the club and insinuated that Chrissy didn’t have that kind of money. With Yandy, Emily says, “When the money’s gone, it’s just BS left.”

Isn’t that a Fabolous lyric? Is she trying to peg Fab as the hip-hop Dr. Phil?

Olivia see things a little differently and is trying to give both sides a fair shake. She tells Yandy “I already told Chrissy you aren’t the problem, she has the problem with you.”

Yandy asks Emily for help reaching out to Chrissy and wants her to broker a peace agreement, and Emily’s response is a simple “Ask Olivia. She’s both of y’all’s friend.” Because she’s learned her lesson and is NOT getting involved. It’s a good feeling when someone learns their lesson on television! when Yandy needs to learn that putting on a show in a club is not professional.

Yandy meets up with  Mona Scott who is her mentor [and is also the producer of LHH]. Her hair is laid like the color of rum cake and Dr. Miracle’s NO LYE RELAXER! YASSS!!

Mona is the second voice of reason this show has seen since Uncle Ralph. She is loud, uses curse words and is able to connect all of the dots as to why Yandy is experiencing such dysfunction in her professional life. People who work in the music industry may want to know why Yandy and Jim have severed ties w2 [one of them may be Yandy's sexual involvement with Jim] rumors have been flying over how Yandy quit her job, and this is her opportunity for her and her hands to set the record straight.

At one point in her resignation email, she mentions Jim’s money funding Chrissy’s bag and shoe habit, among other things, and Yandy admits that yeah, she may have crossed the line when she took a couple of digs like that because she was emotional. “That emotional s— has no business in your business,” Mona tells Yandy.

Mona Scott, come and get your life! [while we still see it for you]

Erica, on the other hand, hasn’t learned any lessons in her brief time on the show, and she just keeps on digging in at Kimbella. During an interview with Vibe, [she interviewed with @GangStarrGirl] she’s asked about the fight she had with Kim, and tells us that Kim’s been talking some smack.

“One thing you don’t do with me,” Erica warns, “is pick a battle, ’cause I will always win.”  And you don’t pick fights with Kimmie Blanco either! The interviewer, Stareene Rhett, asks what Erica said to Kim to set her off and Erica tells her “I think I mentioned that she was a joke and even her man laughs at her, probably with the next bitch.” She basically laughs this off, as if to say “Can you believe she got so bent out of shape over that??” In the same breath, Erica accuses Kimbella of sleeping around and says “I wouldn’t even call what she does ‘modeling.’”
Erica have you been on the cover of Vogue? Harper’s Bazaar? Then you’re not a model. But she does have credentials!
-She was rated “qutest latiina girl x3″ on a Sconex poll back in ’04!
-She has been on the cover of Blackplanet/Migente Magazine Spring Summer issue wearing the Pelle Pelle thong with matching bikini and shades from Lot 29!!
-She was on the cover of Smooth Girl. She is serving Cuban boat girl tease and the girls can’t take her sickening look!
It’s obvious that at this point, Erica wants to be Kimbella so bad. She wants Kimbella’s mom, she wants Juelz, she wants to be that girl.

“You don’t think you guys have a littttle something in common?” Stareene asks her, which is hilarious because it’s clear she’s thinking what we’re all thinking “Don’t you both define the term ‘modeling’ loosely?”

Over at Olivia’s career. Rich explains that she’s got a deal worth somewhere around $1.5 million and “If Liv takes this deal, we could be on our way. If she doesn’t take this deal, it could be the end of her.” But Olivia isn’t sure she wants to “sign her life way” for another deal where she loses creative control of her music, so she tells Rich she’s got to sleep on it before she makes a decision. Olivia, someone isn’t going to spend over 1 million dollars without asking for your creative control!

It’s 2012.

Rich isn’t thrilled by that. He has every reason to be. Olivia needs a major label who can give her that exposure that she desperately needs. December I Remember came out LAST December, and it failed to make a dent on radio, with nationwide exposure from VH1.

 

But you know what? He’s not the first person she’s going to disappoint tonight! Because she’s got a lunch date with Emily and Chrissy and Emily becomes feisty and informative, telling Chrissy that Olivia told Yandy to stop being the bigger person in their argument, and just walk away instead of persistently apologizing.

Does Emily secretly despise Olivia and her talents?
Kimbella is still focused on her home life and making things right with her family, so she meets with her brother Kenneth to talk about the talk she had with their mother last week. That’s a lot of talk. Kimbella, Kenneth? How did her mom make such unusual names for
her children? That’s rather strange.

Kim explains that she told their mom that she didn’t want to end up like her (yes, we already witnessed it, but still, ouch), and then she says that she worries because it’s not like she and Juelz don’t have their scrapes every so often. She says that wishes she had a husband at home, but she’s not ready for that with him and she wants to continue to get to know him. At what point are you like, sure, I’ll have your kid and also live with you and also throw glasses at people who doubt our relationship…buuuut I am not ready to commit? I guess I’m just old-fashioned.

Yandy and Olivia meet to..do what now? Oh, right, talk about Chrissy some more. Olivia is still trying to play nice with both of them, but she calls Yandy out for “throwing darts” and instigating some of their problems. Yandy makes matters worse when Olivia calls Chrissy Jim’s wife, and Yandy responds “First of all, she’s his girl. They were engaged when she proposed, and now they’re installed, because he gave her an installment plan.” Chrissy is not going to like that. Chrissy is also not going to like Yandy’s comparison of her to Hitler. OY.

It sounds like Yandy and Jim had a relationship. We’re not suggesting a sexual relationship AT ALL [ ok, maybe we are... a little] But maybe she was used to being the only girl in his life for a while, and she now has to compete with Chrissy, who receives all the perks of the conversations she had with Jim.

But she lost, as soon as she decided she was a contender.

I feel so bad for Yandy.

“It is so not messy between me and Nancy,” Yandy says as she and Jim’s mom get questionable massage treatments together at the spa. Their relationship is so much more comfortable than getting beaten with reeds. Nancy is happy she didn’t have to pay for the massages.

You remember when she only gave $12 dollars towards Jim’s birthday last season?

 

 

AND NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULAR SCHEDULED BROADCAST.

Who said Mama Jones and Russy looked alike? That’s disrespect.

 

When the Ten Commandments style beatings come to a halt, Yandy confides in Mama Jones that she doesn’t want to lose her, even if she’s stopped working with Jim. She depends on Nancy for advice and being her second mom. It’s nice, but will it create a problem for Jim and Chrissy?

The answer is yes, obviously.

Somaya!!!

Somaya makes her long awaited return to Love and Hip-Hop as she met up with Kimbella to discuss what’s been going on lately. She had her all black everything on from her evening shift at Queens Center Mall, but we’re so happy to see her!

Somaya meets up with Kimbella at the fancy, expensive chocolate shop (is this the only kind of establishment this cast is allowed to film in now? One that’s too classy for them to throw hands/glasses in?) and Somaya wonders why Kimbella and Erica are blowing up her Google Alerts. Again, another spot where they spend time in but don’t actually eat or buy anything. What do we think Somaya’s Google Alerts are set for? “Love And Hip Hop” or “Insane Video Girl Fights”? Kim tells Somaya that Erica has continued to talk smack about her and that means the next time they see one another, it’s on. Again.

Emily is hanging out with Fab’s former assistant, Winter, and Winter is a straight-shooter who asks why Emily moved out and moved on from Fab.

Emily acts coy when Winter tells her she’s playing games with him and Winter says outright “You did all of this to get a reaction.” That’s not untrue. “I do know that I need a change. And I got it,” Emily tells her. “I needed him to realize what he’s done over the years and how it affected me…I want to be number one and the only one.”

Winter is pushing her hard though to go back to Fab, who is apparently “begging” Emily to come back to him. Winter thinks that to move on from a nine-year relationship would be a waste and tells Emily “I say ride it out.” Emily wants to so much, but you can tell she’s learned from past mistakes and isn’t quite sure what to do.

When does Fab have time to beg for Emily? His Twitter career is blossoming, his mix tapes are flying off the shelves! [The SND shelves that is]

Yandy meets with Cam’Ron in hopes of getting in some of his business. She’s desperate because she wants Cam to call Jim tonight so that the can continue with business the next business day.  Yandy reveals that she’s left her position as Jim’s manager, and she wants to work with Cam’ron. She’s acting very messy! Why Cam’Ron? Why can’t she work with Hell Rell or Jha Jha? The shade is apparent on this snowy Monday evening isn’t it? He tells her that when he and Jim had a falling out, things eventually worked themselves out—and he thinks the same will ring true with Jim and Yandy. That said, Cam’ron doesn’t want to ruffle his friend’s feathers, so he’s going to have to run by Jim the idea of him working with Yandy. Yandy understands, and both hope that Jim won’t have an issue with their partnership.

Cam’Ron…

And finally, it all comes back to Erica and Kimbella. It’s Erica’s birthday and she and her girls, ahem, just want to have fun. So we get several shots of Erica doing her one move:

This girl has been in like three episodes and we’ve seen her pull this boob move in like, every single one. Keep it up and I can probably turn it into a calendar. Unless she already has one?

So Erica is having a grand ole time at her party, dancing, drinking straight Grey Goose, showing off her goods, when Kimbella shows up. As much as I know this is going to turn into a disaster, I have to appreciate that Kimbella has the balls to ruin Erica’s birthday just to address this issue.

Kimbella asks why Erica apologized to her and then went around and did a scathing interview full of lies, and Erica creates a beautiful semantic black hole, telling Kimbella she was only ever sorry “for the fact that you thought I judged you.” Not for saying all those judgey things.

“You’re a crack bitch and I’m not,” [crack bitch?] Kim tells her, and Erica takes a swing. A bunch of guests (including Somaya) intervene to keep them apart, but Kimbella didn’t come to fight, she clearly just wanted to ruffle feathers.

Erica continues to not make friends when she remarks about Somaya remarking that “It’s so funny because she brought a Sumo wrestler to back her hum and yet the Sumo wrestler was the first one walking out the door.” Ew. Look, I know not everyone who watches this show is on Team Somaya, but that was just an unwarranted, ridiculous dig for no reason. Just because she didn’t want to pummel you, you have to insult her? Somaya has been through a rough life! Homegirl lived in an attic! She’s about that life! Erica is just mad because Rainbow chose Jaslene over her for their Bronx campaign!

“It’s not over, you know that, right?” Kim asks Somaya. Yeah, we know.

 

Deep sigh!

-STAY FLY!

[@NIIICELOOKSEAN]