January 8, 2012

Her Sand Skinned Divine Majesty of Time and her husband The Guardian of The Throne Jay-Z have FINALLY  given birth to their baby girl named *Allegedly*  BLUE IVY CARTER!!!

I started crying like a baby when I heard the news!!!!!!

The holy spirit entered my body as well!

According to the SFPL spies [they're everywhere] Babyonce and dad Jay-Z checked into the Upper East Side on Friday night!, and the baby was born sometime after 8:15 PM.

What was Beyonce‘s alias you ask?

Ingrid Jackson!

Jay and Bey rented out the hospital’s entire fourth floor for $1.3 million this past weekend!

Yesterday evening, people were seen bringing bags of takeout and a dozen bottles of red wine onto the heavily guarded hospital wing!!!!

Aunt Rihanna and Uncle Russell tweeted the good news!

After 11 p.m., doctors and nurses were BANNED [I was banned as well] from entering the fourth floor, and one doctor had the nerve to complain that he had other patients to see!

Does he *NOT* understand who this child is?

Hospital workers placed tape over security cameras and they forced employees to turn in cell phones when they arrive for their shifts, a source told me.

Take a wild guess who my source was.

A hospital worker.

Several security guards were spotted patrolling the perimeter of the hospital Saturday night.

That’s right. Keep the child of The Throne well protected please!

All we have to do now is find out where the christening is taking place.

We have some work to do!

-STAY FLY!

[WRITTEN BY @NIIICELOOKSEAN]

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