Turquoise implants! Loca Latinas! Yandy and her jazz hands! Teairra and her side eyes! This is the only time we’ve ever rooted for Kimbella, but.. we’ll revisit this issue in a minute!
Vampire Life enthusiast Jim Jones loves black cars; however he lost a bet to his brother Juelz Santana and he has to buy a white car. They take a trip to the Audi dealership and are led to the secret back room where they keep the GOOD cars to test out the best of the best.
GOOD CARS? Audi dealership? I’ll take the J train, any day!
“There’s a foreign [I love Chrissy and her unusual word choices, don't you?] car in my driveway. What is it doing here?” Chrissy asks when she sees the white monster approach on her driveway.
“If a car is at the top of your to-do list, it’s time for me to be realistic with where Jimmy’s head is,” Chrissy says. Chrissy, that man may NEVER marry you. You guys are already playing house. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
“It’s my car, it’s my money, I copped that. It’s my castle, ya heard?” Jim tells us (would he ever say that to Chrissy’s face, I wonder?) after Chrissy tells him to get that thing out of her driveway. He actually lied to her and said that it was Juelz’ car and Chrissy and her mole detected that it was a lie.
“I’ve loved him forever and it’s time to grow up,” Chrissy says, and once again, it’s clear she is tired of babysitting this man.
Chrissy meets up with Emily and what feels like full-time cast member Teairra Mari and first shows off her new ‘do, which she calls the Dora The Explorer,
This must be Dora The Explorer, The TRUE TO THE GAME VERSION!
Last week, Chrissy and Kimbella met up at some location, and Chrissy says Kimbella showed up in flats which is always code for “fightin’ mode” but that she ended up seeing that Kimbella didn’t want to fight, she just wanted peace, and Chrissy was okay with that.
“Honestly, I want to like Kimbella but she’s giving me this little slutty vibe and I’m uncomfortable with it,” Emily says. “She got her man, she got her magazine, she got everything from being that slutty being, maybe that’s not really even who she is.”
Emily, you’re not necessarily known for styling, so stop being a prude.
Emily, have a seat please.
Chrissy wants to be involved every step of the way, and a lot of the designs that we caught glimpses at looked pretty decent!
Chrissy wants to have an actual stake in this business, and not feel like she’s repaying Jimmy for same favor. Jim tells her she’s just his partner “by default” and in usual Chrissy fashion, she does not appreciate those words. Would you?
Un-Dandy Yandy meets up with former video girl slash model slash aspiring singer Erica [aren't all of these chicks aspiring to be something? EXCEPT for Melyssa Ford, who had a game plan from day one] who’s ready to let go of her video past and start being legit at…something else. Right away, Erica is like, please do not compare me to Kimbella, I’m up here and she’s down here.
“Bitches like that depreciate us,” she says, referring to the video girl hustle. She’s mad at whatever Kimbella represents. How can you be mad at a long blonde ponytail and a magazine cover? Poor Kimbella hasn’t even shown up in this episode yet and she’s getting a beatdown.
Last week, Emily told Olivia and Chrissy that she just can’t resist that old Fab charm and that she’s dating him again (in spite of all his cheating, in spite of Kimbella The Slutty Being admitting to sleeping with him, in spite of it all), so this week, Olivia and her undeveloped ideas strike up a conversation with Teairra to address her concerns about this situation.
“That’s crazy, you just giving him everything for free!” Olivia says. Emily is happy, but Olivia points out “What she wants is not what’s best for her.” Olivia’s basically begging Teairra to have a talk with Emily to make this point. Olivia, focus on your career, and not with what Emily is trying to accomplish with Fabolous. She has a child with him, and we can’t fault her for trying to make her family work.
Finally, we get a little personal backstory on Chrissy’s family and we’re getting emotional just re-telling it. Chrissy says her parents are “no longer with her” and she’s been without them for a long time, but she has Aunt Cookie and Uncle Ralph to watch over her instead. “My Aunt Cookie is the epitome of class because she is just loving,” Chrissy says through tears. And Uncle Ralph is her father figure and the man who would give her away if she ever does get married.
I just LOVE LOVE LOVE this couple. They’ve been married for 30 years, and you can see the love between them. It’s that mature, uninsecure love that a lot of people aspire to have, to want to feel. Love this moment.
Chrissy has a heart to heart with Cookie about the state of her relationship and ultimately tells her aunt “I don’t want to be married to someone who doesn’t want to be married to me,” and Cookie tells her that Jim is just scared.
“Somebody needs to school this young man on how much I love him and how hard I love him,” Chrissy!! It’s hard not to like her! So, it’s decided that Uncle Ralph should have a man to man conversation with Jimmy. Jimmy’s reaction to that? “I don’t do that.” But reluctantly he agrees.
Jim pours Uncle Ralph a rum and coke, which looks like 95% rum, and 5% coke.
They talk about their women and swap stories about how their relationships started and both men speak with so much affection for their ladies.It is such an empowering moment seeing black men talk. No bragging, Turns out, Aunt Cookie proposed to Uncle Ralph too! OBVIOUSLY that is where Chrissy gets that determination. The conversation leads Jimmy to another conclusion, too. “I guess she’s figuring the money that I just dropped for the car might have been the money I should have spent for the ring.”
Uh, you think? SMH at you Jimmy.
Rich Dollaz is fresh off his professional [some think intimate] break up with Olivia. He and Yandy decide to have a manager discussion and Yandy suggests that he cool his temper.
Rich is frustrated, still, because Olivia is not getting any record deals. “There’s no reason why she’s not the biggest star in the world,” [I hope he's not suggesting that he's better than Queen Creole, mother to the child, of The Throne] he says, but Yandy thinks it’s because she’s closed off and doesn’t really share herself. In a conversation with her cousin Jackie, Olivia admits that her mother (and all the bad communication and negative reinforcement she got from her) is the reason she’s closed off, but Olivia thinks maybe if she writes a song about these feelings, that might be the thing to show her mother how hurt she is.
But, maybe no one is checking for Olivia, because all they know is she’s been out for 10 years, in 3 year gaps and very little else?
The people need a REASON to emotionally invest. GIVE them one!
It is a touching moment, we admit.
We end this episode with Kimbella [and her virgin hair] and Teairra having a heart to heart about Kimbella being misunderstood. I don’t think Kimbella is a bad person, but it’s hard to root for her. WHERE IS SOMAYA? There can only be one Latina in this show!
Kimbella’s next confrontation is with Erica, Yandy’s new buddy. Yandy, you always do this! You bring a new girl into the mix and all hell breaks loose! Come ON, girl! Yandy is doing this on purpose, I’m convinced. She likes drama, she likes being involved, and she likes to leave. TYPICAL INSTIGATOR!
On paper, Kimbella and Erica, they’re the same girl,” Yandy says. “I would think they should get along.” Famous last words. Right off the bat, Erica starts a beef with Kim, telling her that she’s seen Kim around but they don’t hang out because they’re on two different levels.
Have you ever heard of Erica? Don’t be upset, Dorothy Zbornak and Blanche Deveraux haven’t either.
“You’re here and I’m here,” she repeats as if it’s a mantra she desperately needs to believe. I didn’t think anyone could ever make Kimbella into a sympathetic character, but Erica’s doing a great job.
Teairra takes the words right out of our mouths [and minds] “There has to be history there, it was just too intense,” “Where would this come from?” Erica’s claws are still out, and she does her best to discredit Kim’s modeling as soft-core porn, and then says Kim hit the jackpot by finding a man with some money to knock her up. Yandy is mortified that she’s brought this woman to the situation. “I’m in shock right now,” she says.
Yandy, you’re always IN something. Whether it’s drama, instigating, or in denial, it’s always negative. Missy Elliott hangs out with you?
Erica talks about how she walked in Miami Fashion Week? Not a bad accomplishment, but most people didn’t know Miami HAD a fashion week. Next time, try going to The South Carolina Fashion Week, and tell us how that goes.
Your character is tainted.
“If this b—h does not shut the f— up, I’m gonna have to shut her the f— up,” Kim says. And with that…
But before we begin: Erica was a salesgirl at the Dash “boutique” in Miami.
What level are you on Erica? Sounds like the minimum wage level to us.
She’s the first girl on the left, and she looks very basic. Again, these video girls are working for free, and are unable to have anything to show for it! Her baby’s father is Raul from the rap group “Terror Squad”. Is she jealous that Kimbella’s man has more $$$ than her latin lover?
Hate is not pretty.
Yandy is eating all of this up! Her hands are doing an interpretative dance as she rejoices the fight that is going on right now!
Teairra and her “I can’t be bothered face” I’m getting my life right now!
“I’m completely mortified and disgusted with Erica,” Yandy says when it’s all over. Uh, I think we all are? But Erica’s not finished, she calls the cops on Kimbella, so Kim, Yandy and Teairra, perhaps not using the best judgment, flee before the cops arrive. (Best quote as Yandy is running from the sirens: “I feel like I’m with Jim right now!”) But Erica, she’s got her eye (her good eye, at least) on them…
Kimbella won the arugement/fight. Who ever starts yelling loses. Erica lost her temper, and her vision. Loca Latina also called the cops after she provoked Kimbella? I think Chrissy wants to fight her now.
I GOT MY EYE ON YOU!